i want people to look at me and think im sick

that im too thin

that i need to eat something

that i need help

i want them to whisper as they walk past, how jealous they are

how thin i am

how beautiful i am

i want everyone i know to be shocked when they see me

i want them to talk about me

i want them to be so envious

i want them to want to be me

i want to show them i am better than they are, a thousand times over

i want to be perfect

flawless

beautiful

thin

with nothing to hide

and be detested and envied for it

i want to show them all that they are wrong and be the best

i want to live

i want to be free

i want to be happy

i want to be thin